The Zitrona Chick(en) is a legend of the culinary landscape. The school ship of all the novice pitmaster BBQs. Zitrona is your point of reference if you want a tasty dinner with little effort.
How does it work? Just give her an appointment, and she will be in front of the restaurant all dressed up. But beware! The show could take your breath away, and it is certainly unsuitable for the little ones 😉
The chick starts to prepare in the afternoon: first of all she will have a nice bath of about two / three hours in a brine for birds. She prefers the Oakridge one, says that keeps her body all perfumed. Once out of the bathroom, it’s time to make up! The Zitrona cares a lot about this step, and uses a mixture of cajun spices that she sprinkles over and under the skin, in abundance. Here too, the Zitrona has a preference for the Louisiana Cajun, not particularly easy to remedy but certainly effective!
The ace in the Zitrona’s sleeve is undoubtedly her bra. The Zitrona (although she will say that it is all natural) uses large caliber protheses consisting of two half lemons, placed on the chest directly under the skin.
Once ready, the Zitrona does some exercise by squatting on a can of beer. She has no particular preference for which beer, although usually the light colours are better suited to her skin colour.
The Zitrona also makes an abundant use of accessories, such as a bag of potatoes, peppers and onions cut into cubes of about 1cm. The accessories accompany her directly in the same baking pan with which she comes to the appointment, because she likes to have them close.
Before arriving at the restaurant, the Zitrona goes to the solarium. There, a 160C sun shower awaits her for about 2 and a half hours, where in the last half hour (without telling her aesthetician) the Zitrona raises the temperature to 200C to have a crisp skin.
She shows up at the appointment with her 78C inner temperature, which she will let you measure. When she asks you where to measure them, don’t be a dumbass and take your chances! You have to measure it at a point between the chest and thigh 😉